Definitely Not In Kansas Anymore
by KitsuneClouds
Summary: Just a remake of The Wizard of Oz. Enjoy. R&R.
1. Gwenda

**Definitely Not In Kansas Anymore**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own The Wizard of Oz, just this version. And the character names. And Katara's clothes.

Katara gave a pained groan as she rolled over onto her back, the back of her hand resting on her forehead. She opened one eye and peered up at the blinding sun above her, quickly closing both eyes and covering them with her gloved hand. She carefully sat up, groaning again at the sharp pain that zipped through her body. What in the world had she landed on that caused her to hurt so much? She looked around, taking in the sights. Beside her, her best companion, a large black wolf, was laying down in an attempt to rest. He must have been hurt as well. In front of the two was a twisted road consisting of red and yellow bricks. The road was in a spiral shape and the colors were arranged in such a way that it resembled a giant lollipop. Small cottages of several different and very vivid colors flooded the area, as well as trees that held every kind of fruit you could think of and so many flower beds you'd be amazed there was even room for the road. Overall, it was an incredibly colorful location. But one question remained in Katara's mind. _Where the hell am I?_

She glanced over at her wolf, Ayden, before standing up. She glanced down at her body, breathing a sigh of relief when she noticed that her clothes had remained the same. She wore a royal blue bustier with a white ruffled trim, a matching petticoat, fishnet tights, black knee-high high-heeled boots, and black elbow-length gloves. Her emerald eyes were lined with black eyeliner and mascara, and her dark brown hair hung down over her shoulders.

She slowly began walking towards the colorful village with Ayden in tow. She looked around as she took each step, as if expecting a monster of some sort to jump out and attack. She relaxed ever-so-slightly when she managed to walk across the questionably-painted street without having to fight, but she continued to take slow, cautious steps. After a minute or two of walking, a cloud of red and pink sparkles appeared in front of her. The sparkles morphed into a person, a woman to be exact. She was quite pretty, with long, crimson hair and a pink, purple and white dress. On her back were large, pink fairy wings of the sparkly sort, on her head was a shiny, silver tiara, and in her hand was a white wand.

Katara stared in disturbance and amazement at the woman before her. What _was_ she? A fairy? A witch, perhaps? Katara honestly couldn't tell.

"My village thanks you for killing its biggest threat, the Wicked Bwitch of the Northwest." the woman greeted Katara, giving a slight bow.

"Did you just say 'bwitch'? What's a bwitch?" Katara asked.

"I would prefer to use the 'B' word, but it's not appropriate for my children's virgin ears." the woman replied.

Katara stifled a laugh. "Fair enough. How exactly did I kill her? I just woke up, and as far as I know, I've never killed anyone."

"When you landed- well, rather, when your method of transportation landed- it crushed the witch. Therefore, you killed her. But don't worry; it's not a crime here. You're a hero now."

"Uh-huh… Alright then. Can you tell me how to get the hell out of here?"

"Only you can truly get yourself out, but I can give you a hint or two."

"Greaaat." Katara whined, before adding, "By the way, who are you?"

"Oh! I'm Gwenda, the Good Witch of the Northwest. In case you're wondering, the witch you crushed was my criminally insane sister-in-law." the woman answered.

"Good to know. So how about those hints?"

"Uh-uh, not so fast. You must meet my children and let them thank you properly. They're all so excited to be free." Gwenda then waved her wand over the village as if casting a spell. Almost instantly, small people, about half Katara's size, piled out from the cottages. A few even wandered out of the trees.

"What is your name, girl?" Gwenda asked Katara.

"Katara." the brunette replied.

"Children, this is Katara, your savior. She killed the Wicked Witch!" Gwenda cried happily. The small people jumped and cheered in response, chanting the brunette's name in triumph. Said brunette watched the whole scene with a disturbed expression, not quite sure what to make of it.

"Uh, yeah, okay. Can I get those hints now?" she asked the good witch.

"Oh, alright. Anything to get you to stop asking. Hint number one: Follow the yellow brick road." Gwenda replied.

"That's it? Can you tell me anything else?"

"I'll pop in an out along your journey if you desperately need the help, but for the most part you must make it on your own."

Sighing, Katara turned to Ayden, who was patiently sitting in the middle of the road, watching everything with apparent amusement.

"Let's go, boy." the girl said, waving her wolf over to her with her hand. She looked down, making sure to step on the yellow bricks. Heaven forbid she step on the red ones instead.

"Good luck, Katara!" Gwenda called after her. Katara waved a hand in the witch's general direction in her own form of a goodbye.


	2. Saslor

**Definitely Not In Kansas Anymore**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own The Wizard of Oz, just this version. And the character names. And Katara's clothes.

Katara wandered down the yellow brick road with Ayden by her side, offering a questioning glance in every direction. Before long, they passed by a crow-infested corn field. Katara raised an eyebrow, noticing that the poorly-hung scarecrow wasn't living up to its name. She walked up to it to get a closer look, noting that it- or _he_, rather- looked very perturbed and uncomfortable.

"What were they thinking, just tossing him over the post like this? There's no way he can scare off crows that way. He's barely even attached!" Katara criticized, failing to realize that the scarecrow was listening to her every word.

"I'm glad you agree, missy. I hate being up here. I don't suppose you wanna try and get me down, do ya?" the stuffed being replied. Katara jumped back a bit, startled, to say the least.

"It talks!" she cried.

"I am a he, not an it. Now answer me. Will you get me down?" the scarecrow asked.

"I guess so." Katara mumbled, making her way towards the post that the scarecrow had been so carelessly hung on. She lifted the back of his shirt, pulling it off of the nail on the post. The scarecrow fell forward, doing a double somersault and landing face-first on the road.

"Thanks, missy. By the way, what are you doing out here? Not many people walk through here anymore." the scarecrow said, raising an eyebrow at Katara.

"I woke up in that colorful village back there, and some fairy lady- Gwenda, I think- told me to follow this road if I wanted to get home." Katara explained.

"Ah, Gwenda. She's a nice lady. Think I could tag along with you? She probably wants you to go see the Wizard, and I got a favor to ask of him."

"What wizard? The fairy didn't mention any wizards."

"The Wizard of the Rain. He's kinda like the leader of the land here. No, he doesn't control the weather. But we're known for our annoyingly large amount of rainfall, so they call him the Wizard of the Rain." the scarecrow explained.

"If you're known for rain, why is it so sunny?" Katara inquired.

"Gwenda's been practicing her witchy powers to outsmart her step-sister, the Wicked Witch of the Northwest."

"But I killed her."

"…You did what?"

"I killed the Wicked Witch. Gwenda said so herself. I somehow killed her when I crash landed across the road from the village."

"And she didn't tell you about the Wicked Warlock of the Northwest?"

"No, she didn't say anything about that. Care to elaborate?"

The scarecrow sighed. "There's Gwenda, the Good Witch of the Northwest. There's Spryte, the Wicked Witch of the Northwest. There's Vallen, the Wicked Warlock of the Northwest. And there's Oniix, the Wizard of the Rain. Want the details?"

"Might as well give me the full story. I don't like learning along the way." Katara decided.

"Here's the deal. Gwenda is everything good in this land. She helps everyone, she acts as a mother to the villagers, she tries to keep peace throughout the region, et cetera and so forth. Vallen and Spryte were best friends as kids and grew up to be partners in crime. Until Vallen fell in love with Gwenda. Spryte when on a jealous rampage and became Gwenda's sworn enemy. And apparently you killed her. So, go you! Anyway, Vallen tried to give up his evil ways, but he couldn't. So he was banished to the super rainy part of the land, the part we're most known for. He lives there, brooding over his life, causing trouble with Spryte, until you killed her. Again, go you! Oniix is pretty much neutral, but he tries to good things. He's kinda odd at first, but he's a fairly good guy. I think that's all you really need to know. Oh, and on your way to see Oniix, Vallen will probably be popping in and out to mess you up." The scarecrow nodded as he finished explaining.

"Interesting. This village sure is weird. So what's your story, scarecrow?" Katara asked.

"My name is Saslor." the scarecrow replied.

"Saslor? Okay then. So, what's your story?"

"As you can see, we have a serious crow problem. Oniix and Gwenda decided they needed a scarecrow, so they had Vallen create me. They could have easily done it but they were trying to punish him for the crap he's done. But Vallen is an evil little bastard and didn't give me a brain. At least, not a very good one. So now I wanna go talk to Oniix about getting me one."

"For someone without a brain, you know a lot."

"Believe it or not, it's a pretty small area around here. News travels fast, and everyone hears about everything. I have nothing better to do than remember it." Saslor shrugged.

"So Vallen created you, huh? That explains why you were so horribly hung on that post. Looked like some slacker just tossed you up there." Katara remarked. Saslor chuckled.

"That's pretty much what happened. So, shall we be off? It'll take quite some time to reach Oniix's castle."

"I guess so." Katara looked around for Ayden, catching him napping in the shade beneath an apple tree. "Come on, Ayden."

The wolf's ears twitched and his eyes slowly fluttered open. He gave a large yawn and an equally large stretch before sauntering over to his master and her new friend.

"Off to the Wizard we go." Saslor announced, linking his arm with Katara's before marching off and clumsily falling down. Katara rolled her eyes and yanked her arm up, pulling the brainless scarecrow up with her. The three wandered down the yellow brick road in search of the Wizard's castle.


	3. Tatum

**Definitely Not In Kansas Anymore**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own The Wizard of Oz, just this version. And the character names. And Katara's clothes.

Katara gave an uncomfortable sigh as she continued down the yellow brick road. Her stylish heels were greatly hurting her feet. She stumbled off to the side, taking a seat on a tree stump.

"You okay, missy?" Saslor asked.

"I'll be fine," Katara replied. "I just need to rest."

Saslor and Ayden sat down on either side of the brunette. Said brunette began looking around the area, taking in the questionable sights. She spotted several apple trees and an orange tree or two. She also noticed a large chunk of rusty metal a ways away from their resting place.

"What's that?" she asked Saslor, nodding towards the metal heap.

"I don't know." Saslor answered, adding, "I'll go check it out."

He wandered over to the pile of metal heap in question and peered down at it. He grabbed a nearby stick and began poking the metal container. Said container groaned in response, causing the easily-frightened scarecrow to jump back and drop the stick in surprise.

"It's alive! I don't know what it is but it's alive!" he cried. Katara made her way over to the shaking bag of straw and grabbed the fallen stick. She poked a dent in the container, earning another groan.

"Stob boken me." it said.

"Did it just talk?" Katara asked, looking at Saslor.

"I think so." Saslor replied.

A rusty squeal was heard as one piece of the metal heap turned, revealing a face.

"Of course I can talk." the face said.

"What are you?" Katara asked.

"What do you think?" the face replied. "I'm a tin man."

"Well what are you doing rusting on the ground?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

The tin man sighed. "Surely you know about Gwenda and Oniix and all of that?"

Katara nodded.

"Well, they needed someone to chop trees and stuff like that, so they had Vallen create me. But as you probably know, he's a heartless bastard and tried to make me into one as well." the tin man explained.

"How so?" Katara questioned.

"He didn't give me a heart, though I still show more compassion than he ever could. And as for me rusting on the ground, we are the land of _rain_. The weather just decided to live up to its name when I was in the middle of working." The tin man sighed again.

Katara turned to Saslor. "Think that wizard guy could help him?"

Saslor shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"You're going to see the Wizard of the Rain? No one ever goes to see him without being summoned." the tin man said, his eyes wide.

"That may be so, but I wanna go back to where I came from." Katara responded.

"Well, lemme go with you. I've moved around more than Saslor has, when the weather's nice. I can help keep you safe 'til we get there." the tin man insisted.

"Sure, why not. Did Vallen give you a name?" Katara asked.

"Tatum. What's yours?"

"Katara."

"A pleasure to meet you. Shall we be on our way?"

"Might as well."

Tatum tried to move the rest of his body, only to be reminded that he was completely rusted.

"Would you mind grabbing that oil can by the tree and helping me up?" he asked.

Katara grabbed said oil can and squirted all of the tin man's major joints. With help from her and Saslor, Tatum pulled himself to his feet, stumbling as he tried to walk.

The four set off to continue their journey to the castle, slowing down every so often to catch Saslor or oil Tatum.


End file.
